


Just hold my hand (baby, I promise that I'll do all I can)

by someone_else_else



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Forehead Kisses, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tea, good thing alec is there, my baby needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 08:08:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11203908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_else_else/pseuds/someone_else_else
Summary: Continuation of the ending of You Are Not Your Own (S2E12).





	Just hold my hand (baby, I promise that I'll do all I can)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my attempt at fixing the end of You Are Not Your Own (S2E12). It doesn't necessarily contain spoilers, but I do suggest watching the episode before reading this or else it won't really make sense... 
> 
> Title from "Hold my Hand" by Michael Jackson feat. Akon
> 
> I do not own the characters.
> 
> PS: bonus points for whoever can spot my joke

"Just tell me what to do. Please."

He doesn't know. He has no idea. Not a clue what to do next, what could possibly help after everything he had gone through.

Alec looks away and sighs, his body shifting as if he is about to leave. In that moment Magnus knows one thing: he doesn't want Alec to go because if Alec goes he will be all alone. So he wordlessly reaches out, his hand clutching at Alec's wrist and sliding it forward slowly until he can feel his long, calloused fingers.

Alec eventually understands what he is trying to do and turns his hand over, palm facing upwards, and intertwines their fingers. He gently lifts Magnus' knuckles to his lips and presses a lingering kiss there; the gesture almost brings tears to Magnus' eyes.

They stay there, like this for what seems like hours, but could easily have just been mere minutes. Eventually, Magnus stands, his knees trembling but not giving out. He turns and starts slowly towards the bedroom, his hand still clutched in Alec's, who followed steadily behind him.

When he pushes open the doors, he headed straight for his bed, not even bothering to change his clothes. When his knees knock against the mattress, he all but collapses into his sheets. Alec slowly follows suit, toeing out of his boots and crawling onto the bed.

Their faces are only inches away, but Magnus refuses to make eye contact. He was looking everywhere but at Alec, his eyes venturing from the wrinkles in the silk sheets to the chipped polish on his nails. 

Alec notices eventually and reaches his free hand out to cup Magnus' jaw, gently urging him to look at him. Magnus obliges, staring at Alec with a look of pure desperation, eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears. Alec shuts his eyes with a pained expression, craning his neck to put his lips on Magnus' forehead.

They fall asleep like this: foreheads touching, knees brushing, hands clutching at each other like lifelines.

That night Manus woke up screaming, a terrified Alec desperately shaking his shoulder. A minute passed before recognition flashed in Magnus' un-glamoured eyes, and he crashed into his boyfriend's arms. Alec didn't hesitate to wrap them around Magnus, rocking them slowly and soothingly, back and forth. Eventually, Magnus' sobs faded into silent tears and they lay back down, still clutching at each other; Magnus' face buried in Alec's tee-shirt.

The next morning, Alec woke up to the chimes of an incoming message on his phone. It was a text from Isabelle, telling him that he was needed at the Institute. He looks over at the sleeping warlock curled into his side and he can't ever imagine leaving his side after what he just went through. He is about time tell Izzy to find someone else when Magnus speaks up:

"Go."

"What?"

"Just go, Alexander."

"No, Magnus, it's okay, they can find someone else-"

"I'll be fine."

Alec hesitates. "Are you sure?"

Magnus slowly let's go of Alec's shirt, "Yes. I'm fine. I'll be okay..."

Alec stares for thirty seconds more before pressing a kiss into his hair and sliding off the bed. He changed with the speed of a trained Shadowhunter and returned to kneel beside Magnus' face. He cards his fingers through Magnus' hair, reassuring him that: "I'll come back tonight, but if you need anything just call."

When Magnus heard the front door close, he shut his eyes and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He would be okay. He would make it through the day and everything would be fine.

And everything was fine. He got out of bed, he showered, he changed into one of Alec's oversized shirts and a pair of sweat pants, he made breakfast; all in all, it was a good start.

It was around lunch time that it all started going downhill. He had been zoning out all morning, unable to concentrate on anything at all. He only narrowly avoided chopping off a finger while making lunch, so he decided on tea instead. He filled the kettle with water, putting it on the hot element and waiting for it to boil.

Tea had always made him feel better, whether it be after the loss of a beloved outfit or that of a loved one. After he had lost Ragnor he did not turn to hard liquor, but rather to warm tea on the balcony. In situations like this he would make teas to help with rest, teas that helped concentration, teas that were said to have healing properties, teas he infused with small spells that would make the pain go away, teas that would take away that numb feeling that was eating up at his soul- 

His train of thought was interrupted by the whistle of the kettle, and he turned abruptly to shut off the stove. With shaking hands he reached out to grabbed the warm handle and lifted the pot to his cup, but he couldn't hold it steady; next thing he knows the kettle is in pieces, hot water spilled all over the floor. He drops down on all fours trying to pick up the pieces, but they are hard to hold for too long. He falls back against the cupboards in tears, contemplating his incompetence. 

He hears the doors unlock, heavy footfall headed closer and closer to him.

"Magnus?" 

When did Alec get home? How long had he been sitting on the kitchen floor?

"Magnus!" Alec gasps, coming around the island, "What happened?" 

For a minute he is confused, then he looks down at his hands, burned and bloodied from the teapot. He opens his mouth to reassure Alec, to tell him that it was nothing, but as soon as he opened, it a sob slipped out. The noise surprised even Magnus, he didn't even know that he was still crying. But now that he did, the tears wouldn't stop coming.

"I lied," Magnus whispers. "I'm not okay."

Alec stares at him for a long second before disappearing, and Magnus briefly wonders if Alec would just leave him there. But then he saw the familiar mop of black hair traveling towards him with an armful of fluffy towels from the hallway closet. He lays out the biggest ones on top of the puddle of water, lowering himself onto the dryest spot in front of Magnus. He picks up the wet tea-towels and reaches out to gently grab the warlock's hands, cautiously dabbing at the injured areas. When he is done, he lets go of Magnus' hand, drops the towel and reaches out to cup his face. Alec shuts his eyes, craning his neck to put his lips on Magnus' forehead, just like he did the night before.

"I know. I'm right here, though." He whispers.

Magnus knows that things are not okay, but for the first time in a long time, there is hope that they can be.


End file.
